Friendship

I am amused and amazed at how friendship changes at you get older. The way things seem to morph and grow. Of course this is a normal evolution of life and such, but I guess I just never took the time to put it under a microscope before. Friends come and go in our lives, we miss them and the pain subsides and you move on. Most of the time your a better person for having made that connection. Friends can grow apart, life has a nasty habit of causing this little issue. However I think that the friendships we make in life say a lot about the kind of person we are.

When we are little anyone who we play with in our neighborhood is a friend. Most of our classmates carry that label as well. The people we see and interact with every day we call our friends. We try to have more friends than the girl who sits next to us, more people at our party, more sleep overs. Most friendships children form are shallow and most do not stick. Not to say all do not, there is that rare friendship that lasts a lifetime.

As we grow up into our teen years we make some friendships that will last and some that are fleeting. Here you start to learn the true value a friendship. Trust and loyalty become factors you look for in a friend. Common interests are another friendship factor. You looking for your spot in the world, your click of friends grow and take a real shape.

When you become an adult, friends and acquaintances get their separate boxes. Friends are the people you can count on in an emergency. Friends are the people who are honest with you even if it hurts. They are the ones you go to when all your chips are down. Acquaintances are harder they sometimes wear the mask of friendship but in the end they are people you sorta know that have lives that you don't really fit in to.

I am 38 years old and I can count on my hand the number of people I could call in the middle of the night in an emergency. On the other hand I can double or even triple the number of people that I would go out of my way for. Don't get me wrong I have made some wonderful friends and I know some awesome people, some who have shown themselves to be what a true friend is, however writing this has made me a bit sad as I see the people who call themselves my friend when in fact they don't even understand the true definition.

So for my true friends who know who I am and love me just the same, thank you! Thank you for listening and caring and not judging me. Thank you for being there and standing by me. In this I can say I have been blessed with some awesome people in my life I am a lucky woman to have the friends I do.

Parenting Autism

Moms of ever shape and size deserve a shout out just for being a mom, however a mom of a child with Autism should get some extra love for all that they deal with everyday!

I can remember looking at that beautiful little girl screaming, yelling and throwing things and thinking to myself how am I suppose to help raise her; there is something wrong. One second this changeable child could be sitting in my lap listening to a book, the next screaming or even standing in the middle of the room flapping her hands. I knew something was wrong.

He took her to the Dr, who tried to push pills; then came the play therapy, and things would get better, then they would get worse. I knew something was wrong. Helping to raise a child I did not give birth to, I had no way of knowing what had come before in her little mind. We tried diet changes, Dr changes and every form of discipline known to man, nothing helped and I knew something was wrong.

Even after we got a diagnosis of ADHD and we gave in and gave her the pills. I knew something was wrong. The screaming the yelling, the fits of rage, and I felt helpless to help this beautiful little girl. We went to Girl Scouts and she went to school, and IEP's and teachers who cared and still we could not help this beautiful little girl and I knew something was wrong.

The pills seemed to help and she did well in school, but at home I could not reach this beautiful little girl; she was angry and did not want the medicine to help her and she knew something was wrong. It was a beautiful day and we were celebrating all together when she snapped, and even though it broke my heart to take her to the hospital, I had hope that someone else would know something was wrong.

We sat with the new Dr and listened to the words, Autism and Asperger's, and nodded like we understood but at that moment I was relieved to know what that something was. It had a name, that something that was wrong, and at that moment the love of my life and I started a long journey to try to help that beautiful little girl and teach her that she could overcome that something that was wrong!

Every set back breaks my heart, every tear and meltdown. Worst is knowing that this thing is both the worst and the best of that beautiful little girl. I hope that one day she sees all that we tried to do to help her and she knows she is loved for just being that beautiful little girl.  

Helping with homework

As parents we do what we can to help our kids learn. We send them to school with all the right supplies, attend back to school nights and parent teacher conferences. In the case of my youngest, which I homeschool, I carefully selected his curriculum.

Then the time comes when you have to help with homework. It all starts innocently enough, making sure they color the right numbers in the right colors. Studying spelling words is fun, and let's not forget our times tables. All easy come easy go. Then they hit Junior High, it seems that everything goes down hill from there.

Of course I speak mostly here tongue and cheek but if you see where I am coming from you know where this is going. The worst question in the world “mom can you help me with my homework?” followed by the “sure” , that's where it starts. Where it ends is usually something like this, “Your not doing it like my teacher showed me”, with the response “it worked when I went to school!” So in the end all communication breaks down you have a full scale fight on your hands and you not sure how this happened.

This happens to parents all over the world. I am sure that there are wonderful parents who can help their kids without it ending in disaster but I have to tell you, after listening to stories from my friends who also parent teenagers I know I am not the only one to have this wonderful bonding experience.

Of course then I blame the teacher, the new math, or even the whole darn school system. It can't be just me. Then I spiral down to maybe I am just not that great of a parent. Which turns into, how the heck did I graduate and become a productive citizen when I can't even help my child with their homework. The last step for me is, and what am I doing to my poor son whom I home school. This can't be good.

Well after our last homework issues I have decided that I am a smart woman, my children are getting a good education and, the teacher, school district and the funky new way they teach stuff is not to blame. I have come to the conclusion, that as a parent it is just part of the way things are. There is just something about the interaction between parent and child that makes it hard to help your own child do their work.

Lucky for me my teenager seems to be mostly self sufficient, other than proof reading the occasional paper, and vocabulary flash cards, I am pretty much off the hook. Math I pawn off on my husband, at great cost to his blood pressure I am sure, and the rest seems to get accomplished with any great input from me.

So I feel a bit of freedom and a little sad as yet more time seems to fly by and they grow up way to fast. At least I am secure in the knowledge that I am not alone, there are other parents out there who have dealt with or are going to feel my pain some day, maybe just maybe one will read this and take that deep breath and see it for what it is, just part of raising your kids!

On Being a SAHM

The greatest thing she'd learned over the years is that there's no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one.
Author Unknown

Being a SAHM (stay at home mom) is the hardest job you will ever love and hate. I remember the days when I had my own identity and people used my name. I have compounded this fun by adding homeschooling my 9yo ADD son to the mix. So life here at Casa G is always interesting.

When my husband and I made the decision for me to quit my job as an accounting clerk and stay home with our kids, I was full of enthusiasm and excitement at the prospect of seeing every milestone, being there for every class project and talent show. Now four years into this I am seriously thinking I might need a vacation in a padded room.

That is not to say I don't love my job as, mother, teacher, short order cook, and maid, there are days when I am so proud of what I do and of my family I could burst from it all. On the other hand there are days when I wonder if I will ever own clothing without bleach spots from cleaning or if I will ever be able to enjoy a quiet afternoon reading a book alone.

For all of my whining about my life as a Mother and Wife I have to say I get excited when my house is clean, enjoy knowing there are clean sheets on the bed. Love putting a home cooked meal on the table. I know it's not the life I envisioned for myself back in high school, I had grand ideas of being a famous speech writer or even an interior designer, but I get to do some of all of that now. My rewards are seeing my kids grow and learn, hugs and smiles, and in the end what more can any SAHM ask for!!