I Will Learn

I Will Learn...Someday

I am a grown woman and I know my limits. HA! Let's be real. I am a walking mess.

I have good days and bad days. On my good days I over do it… ALL THE TIME. It’s not like I don’t know I will pay for it.  It is more like I know I need to get it done “while the sun shines.” On a good day I try to do too much because I know it will not last long. Then I need to spend a week recovering.

I don’t know who I am trying to impress.  Except maybe to prove to myself that I can still do the things I need to do. Or maybe to make my husband proud? That can’t be right. I know he loves me, chronic pain or not.  So who knows why I feel the need to over do it when I know I will pay for it later.

That said, I usually feel accomplished on those days. It is a self-reinforcing problem. I push push push, over do and then crash. I am working on setting limits and doing things in small doses. This is so I can accomplish stuff more often and not just on good days.  

I know I am not alone; there are many who suffer from chronic pain have the same problems and deal with this never ending cycle.  I just wonder sometimes if there is some key to beat it that I don’t understand. Just maybe I will learn, someday.