In the blink of an eye

In the blink of an eye

Where did the years go?  It seems like only yesterday we were having fun at birthday parties and dancing on the coffee table, yet on Friday my daughters picked up the key to their own place.   It’s not much - just a little two bedroom trailer - but it is a big step in maturity and independence for them.

No one has ever accused us of being normal, with my step-daughter being on the Autism spectrum, and both our girls from our own broken relationships.  We did our best to teach them to be good people, to be responsible, to have common sense. Some days I feel like I have won the battle but others.... Well, not so much.

It has been a rough year with our girls.  They have had to learn some lessons the hard way.   It is painful for any parent to see their child struggle, and even harder still to let them go and learn on their own.   

My laughing, singing and dancing girls have become young women in the blink of an eye.   I have gone from kissing booboo’s to giving advice on life’s bigger problems.  Some days I am proud as a peacock, others I wonder what I did wrong.  

They will make mistakes and stumble along the way - we all do.  But I still love them for who they are and who they are becoming.  I am always here to give advice and offer a shoulder to cry on, and sometimes even offer the tough love that they need to see when they are headed in the wrong direction.

Cherish your little ones because before you know it, in the blink of an eye, they are grown and gone.

A Bright New Homeschool Year.

A Bright New Homeschool Year.

As I am starting 7th grade in the face, it is hard to reconcile the sweet little boy who gives me hugs with the kids I see coming home from the local middle school.

Once again, I am aware that I made the best decision for my family.   My little boy is now 11 and blossoming into a bright and friendly young man.  He has excelled again, so we will be doing pre-Algebra this year.  Keeping with previous years, I have chosen Calvert School for our curriculum.  Now I am eagerly anticipating the arrival of the box of books that will start us on our new journey.  

Each year I am privileged to enjoy my child being hungry to learn and grow.   I get to teach him and know what he is learning.  At dinner I smile as he replays the school day for his father.  As a family we discuss projects and field trips.  

Excitedly, I am doing my preparation for the year.  I am looking back at last years work seeing how much he has grown;  knowing how much he learned.  Now as I wrap up our summertime studies we are more than ready to get on to our bright new school year.

An Ex-Christian view on gay marriage

I found this and noticed that I did not post it, so by request from a special friend with some skin in the game, here ya go.

My exChristian view on gay marriage

Seeing a Facebook post today prompted this.  I don’t understand why everyone is so upset about gay marriage.   It seems to me in our society of broken homes and single parents, we would support any union that fought to stay whole.   Having spent most of my young life as a Christian, I remember hearing how important a family unit was.   So when I got divorced I was sure I was contributing to the decline of society.  

Now many years later I look back and have a hard time seeing why it is that any Christian would have an issue with gay marriage.   It seems to me that Christians are taught to live a life like Christ.  I don’t remember him being hateful to anyone because of who they love.  Christians are taught to lead by example and to share the Word, not stand in the way of other’s lives and beliefs.  

The Christian’s are hijacking the Constitution to bend it to their ideals.  “All men are created equal” was not a joke.  It was not a suggestion.  It is the law of the land.   I don’t think we need a law I just think people need to get over it.  If you are religious, fine.  Go see clergy to seal your vows.   If you are not then don’t.   Marriage in modern America is a legal institution.  It gives you rights and protections that living together does not.   So why would anyone want to deny this to another human being?

If two gay people get married how does that affect you?  The answer is simple, it does not.  If you are doing your best to live a good life and be “Christ-like”  then your only option is to live a godly life.  To be a living example of His love.  To love everyone and turn the other cheek.  These are the lessons I remember from my time in the church.  

There is no good reason to deny others a right you have.

Remember Freedom - 4^th of July

I can remember, it was not that long ago when you could eat what you wanted.  Now don’t get me wrong, the Dr. would yell but what you ate was your business.  If you choose to eat junk you would die early… that was it.   There were no rules and regulations to keep you from your beloved junk food. 

I can remember, the not too distant past, when you could board a plane with a bottle of water and not have to remove your shoes.  Not everyone was treated like a suspect.  It seems we have become ok with the slow death of our liberty.

I can remember, sitting in the smoking section of a restaurant with my parents. Not so long ago when you had a choice to enter a smoking restaurant or not.  That choice has been revoked, taken away…. Did you notice?

In the days and weeks and years of recent history we have let our lawmakers take our freedom and our liberty.  We are not even allowed the pursuit of happiness, unless it is acceptable to our government.  

Now as we look upon another 4^th of July with less freedom than the one before, the general public seems happy with the bread and circuses we have been handed.  Save for a handful of folks who remember freedom and know that we have given up more than our founders even intended.

As you grill your hotdogs and watch the pretty fireworks in the sky take a moment talk to your kids of true freedom.  Remind them that to be free is to have the right and the responsibility of your own choices.  To be free, really free, means to take a level of personal responsibility that is not seen in the world anymore.

Have a happy and safe holiday! 

Insomnia induced babble

Well guess I should make use of my insomnia and blog. I have been gone for a while I got burnt out after keeping up a three blog a week schedule for a local group I was volunteering with. So I am back in the saddle so to speak.

Still working on my weight loss. I think I am a member of every weight loss site in existence. Funny thing is the biggest support I get is not from my online life but from my home, where is should come from. My husband is amazing and supportive with gentle reminders and lots of praise. My kids are good about letting me do my thing. My 10yo son is super supportive and gets upset when I say I am fat.

The amazing thing is I am keeping up the effort even with a months long plateau. I have lost 40lbs and seem to be stuck, but I have upped my exercise and increased my calorie intake, I know seems counter-intuitive, and I am sure that the changes I have made will kick start my weight loss again.

I am getting ready to start the 6^th grade with my son, so this is an amazing time. He is so bright and seems to have a grasp far beyond his years about what is going on with current events. Guess that comes with having a news junkie for a mom.

With my daughter graduating from High School in June, the speed at which the days fly seems faster all the time. I am hoping I will have time to add to my blog more frequently now that I have no other blogging obligations.  

Insomnia ramble

Well guess I should make use of my insomnia and blog. I have been gone for a while I got burnt out after keeping up a three blog a week schedule for a local group I was volunteering with. So I am back in the saddle so to speak.

Still working on my weight loss. I think I am a member of every weight loss site in existence. Funny thing is the biggest support I get is not from my online life but from my home, where is should come from. My husband is amazing and supportive with gentle reminders and lots of praise. My kids are good about letting me do my thing. My 10yo son is super supportive and gets upset when I say I am fat.

The amazing thing is I am keeping up the effort even with a months long plateau. I have lost 40lbs and seem to be stuck, but I have upped my exercise and increased my calorie intake, I know seems counter-intuitive, and I am sure that the changes I have made will kick start my weight loss again.

I am getting ready to start the 6^th grade with my son, so this is an amazing time. He is so bright and seems to have a grasp far beyond his years about what is going on with current events. Guess that comes with having a news junkie for a mom.

With my daughter graduating from High School in June, the speed at which the days fly seems faster all the time. I am hoping I will have time to add to my blog more frequently now that I have no other blogging obligations.  

Teach them to fly

I have noticed recently that people tend to be quick to offer an unsolicited critique of other people’s parenting. It is with more than a bit of shame I have to count myself among the numbers.  I do try to keep my opinions to myself in most cases unless it directly effects me or my family.  As a mother of three I have been given any amount of “helpful” advice.  The best advice I have ever been given I read. 

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary.
Dorothy Canfield Fisher

That one line has done more to shape how I parent than every parenting book I have ever read.  I guess it also has a lot to do with how I was brought up.  My mom was a strong supporter of self sufficiency and I can remember on my 16th birthday she told me:

“I have taught you right from wrong, now it is up to you.”  

That one lesson stuck with me all these years.

I have endured all kinds of criticism about making my kids do chores without an allowance. Chores, to me, are what a family does to keep a house going.  It is not a job you are paid for.  Now, if you are asked to do something above and beyond then you might get offered payment but, no, I do not pay the kids for contributing to the running of our home.  My children have been taught that money is earned-not given; they have had to learn to find ways to earn money for things they want.  

Also, it is my firmly held belief that I should not bribe my children to like me.  I am not here to be their friend.  I am a parent who loves them enough to know when to dish out a little discipline now to save them a lot of heartache later.

Of course, it shouldn’t go without saying that I have made my share of mistakes as a parent.  Contrary to what I tell my kids, they did not come with a how-to manual. I make an attempt to own up to my mistakes and to set them right.  Being human, I do fall short of the perfection I strive to obtain.  

In the end, each family has to do what is best for their children.  I believe what is best for mine is to be taught how to be on their own so when they get out in the world they are as ready as I can make them.  It is my hope that I will have given my children the skills and knowledge to make sound moral and financial choices, as well as knowing how to take care of themselves.  We are not that different from birds in that we all need to teach our children to fly on their own.